piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Send help, water and tortillas.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
