There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Michael Bay diarrhea
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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