What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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