I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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