If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
