I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize