He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
