I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
