carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
