I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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