I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
