pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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