I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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