He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
