weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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