Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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