her vagine was all disorganized.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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