we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
