I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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