you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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