and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize