im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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