You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
