I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
