Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
