Don't you send me to vm
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
