Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
