she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
