There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
