I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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