i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
