i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize