i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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