In the future we'll all be gay
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
