chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
