Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
40s are totally the cure
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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