You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
