Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We have started to decorate penises.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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