We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
