i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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