I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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