Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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