You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
birth control should be required to get into college
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
