What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
