Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
