my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
