Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
