why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
