shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
