im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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