dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
