Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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