it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
