end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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