Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize