Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i drank out of a bidet.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
