There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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