Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
