Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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