she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
