Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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