It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
