i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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